allllerrrJEEZ! | Perfume Posse

Posse!  My darlings!

::skritch,skritch::  OMG!  It’s the dreaded Harvest!  So much corn dust.  So MANY bugs!  So much CORN DUST!

Oh.  Did I mention  CORN DUST?

I cannot smell anything.

I cannot taste anything  – I don’t think I’ve eaten this much salad since, uhh, this time last year (with ALLL the crunchy veg and nuts and I hope to hockey sticks my colon appreciates all this fiber … lordt.) I simply cannot countenance eating food I cannot taste, which is where salad comes in – all that cruuunnnch! takes the place of actual flavor (wanna know how bad it is?  I can barely taste BACON!)

My eyes?

My sinuses?

You get the drift (of CORN DUST!)…

I’z busted.

wanna know HOW busted?  I can’t really smell Lyric!  Or Mitsouko!  If you’ve smelled either of them, you know how dire this is, since normally I can smell those from the Space Station.  I’m just taking a hiatus from anything meaningful, perfume-wise.  Jean Nate and Jergens is about as complicated as I can get right now.  Weirdly, I am getting TONS of compliments on that combo.  It’s amazing – I can swan around in an Amouage attar and ain’t nobody got nuthin’ to say – but let me slather on some original Jergens?  Boom!  Every other person:  “oooh!  you smell GOOD!”.  Huh.

It’s …. well, it’s like this every year.  And since I now live here, I just have to live with it.  Lots of saline flushes, Zaditor for my fancy new eyeballs…. long sleeves for those vicious little black bugs the size of a cracked piece of pepper (if that) armed with 4″ fangs –  they are driven out of the fields during harvest and … well, I guess they’ve still gotta eat… so we are now on the menu. Honestly, though… how on earth can something so small have such a painful bite?!!!

Oh, yeah.  The other thing I can smell is Cutter’s (insect repellant).  But guess what?!!  Those vicious little black specks ?  They don’t care ’bout no Cutter’s.  So I’mo ditch that since it… stinks.  I think I’ll go back to Avon’s Skin So Soft, see if that’ll keep them at bay – it worked in Kenya… might work here in Central IL during Harvest Season.

A girl can dream.

What’s going on in your world?  Are you being EATEN ALIVE by vicious teeny black bugs?

btw – those vicious little predatory bugs are Black Midges.  Satan’s Midges is more like it.

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