How to Meal Plan for a Blended Family: A Dietitian Mom’s Guide

How do you meal plan for a blended family? Learn practical tips to make mealtimes smoother, stress-free, and more connected from a dietitian mom.

Bringing two families together under one roof is an exciting journey, when it comes to feeding everyone and meal planning for a big crew, it can feel overwhelming. Different food preferences, traditions, and schedules? It’s a lot! 

As a dietitian and a mom who has a blended family of 8 (yes, that’s 6 kids!) I’m no stranger to big busy blended family dinners. Believe it or not, they can be fun and offer a great opportunity for connection and bonding. I can happily say that my favourite meals are when all 8 of us are sitting around the table. 

But I won’t lie, it’s an adjustment in the beginning for sure, and it’s not always 100% smooth sailing (in the beginning especially), and that’s ok. There are many moving parts! But with a little planning, flexibility, and teamwork, you can create a mealtime routine that works for your blended family just like we have—and I promise, it doesn’t have to be stressful!

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by trying to make everyone happy at mealtimes, I’ve got you. These strategies have helped us create a smoother, more enjoyable mealtime experience, and I hope they help you too.

Meals with a Blended Family: From the Kids’ Perspective

When two families come together, kids are suddenly thrown into new routines, new family members, and different household norms. Mealtimes, which once provided comfort and predictability, can become sources of uncertainty and stress. Although it can be a really positive and joyful change (it honestly has been in our house!), kids of blended families may also experience

Anxiety and uncertainty:

The introduction of new family members (and maybe a new step-parent who does most of the cooking) can make kids feel uncertain about their place and role within the family unit, and as to whether they’ll be served foods that are familiar and comforting to them. 

Resistance to change:

Children often find comfort in routine. The sudden shift in mealtime practices—be it different foods, dining etiquette, how and where food is served or schedules—can lead to resistance. They might cling to previous habits as a way to maintain a sense of normalcy.

Feelings of exclusion:

If not handled sensitively, children might feel sidelined, especially if they perceive favoritism or unequal treatment during meals. This can be exacerbated if one set of children is more familiar with the new family mealtime dynamics than the other.

The Long-Term Goal for Blended Families: Mealtimes That Feel Good 

The goal over time is to create mealtimes that feel peaceful, joyful and connecting. These are opportunities for bonding and establishing new family traditions, and to get to know each other better. However, this requires intentional effort to address potential challenges:

Challenge #1: Personal preferences:

Each child has likes and dislikes based on their past home experiences. Accommodating these varied tastes without becoming a short-order cook demands creativity and flexibility. By the way, here are reasons not to short order cook for your children. Getting curious helps – ask fun questions like “If you could eat any one meal every single day for the rest of your life, what would it be?” or “What is your least favourite food?”. 

Challenge #2: Differing mealtime rules:

What was considered polite or normal in one household might differ in another. Getting on the same page about these differences requires open communication and the establishment of new, shared norms. This is likely a conversation between you and your partner first, so that you can create expectations that are aligned. 

Challenge #3: Picky eating:

Picky eating is a common issue in most families at one point or another, but it can be more pronounced in blended families due to the convergence of different dietary habits and preferences. It’s important to approach picky eating with patience and avoid turning mealtimes into battlegrounds. 

Here’s an example of what’s happening in our house: My daughter, 11 years old, is a particular eater and my partner often makes delicious mixed dishes and soups that she’s not comfortable with. I always make sure that I include something else at the table on these nights – let’s say grilled cheese or a fruit platter and yogurt dip – so that she feels like she’s offered foods that she likes. We also try to do family-style dinners at least a few times a week, and I get her (and all of the kids) involved in planning them. 

1. Involve Everyone in the Meal Planning Process

Food is personal, and when 2 families come together, it can feel like everyone has their own ideas about what’s “normal” at mealtime. When you’re so used to doing it “your way” with your kids, and have found a flow, but then have to pivot with new family members, it can feel uncomfortable and unsettling. Including everyone in the meal planning process helps kids feel valued and gives you insight into what will work best for the whole family. Plus, here are five tips to finally start meal planning (for real).

When we first blended our families, I quickly realized that mealtime was going to be a learning curve. Some kids were used to sitting down as a family for dinner, while others were more accustomed to eating on the go or in front of the TV. Some happily ate anything that was served and others were more particular. Some asked for help, and others didn’t! 

Instead of trying to force everyone into one way of doing things, we started with a simple family meeting.

How we did it

• Have a casual family chat about everyone’s favourite foods, meal traditions, and any must-haves (or no-go’s!).
• Chat about schedules (sports and activities) and the ideal timing of meals (maybe on same days, kids are all eating at separate times – which is inevitable sometimes)
• Make a family favourites list with meals that most people enjoy—this becomes your go-to for meal planning during the week when life is busy
• If kids are old enough, let them help plan one meal a week. Giving them some ownership makes them more likely to eat what’s served.

This conversation not only helps with planning meals but also gives kids a sense of control, making them more likely to try new foods when they feel heard.

2. Plan Meals That Are Easy and Flexible (like Family-Style Meals!)

Every family has its quirks when it comes to food. Some kids might love vegetables, while others won’t touch them. Some might be used to eating dinner in front of the TV, while others have always eaten together at the table. Finding a balance between routines, habits, and preferences is key to making mealtimes successful.

One of my favorite strategies for blended families is family-style meals—think taco night (give these 15-minute lentil taco melts a try), build-your-own bowls, pasta bars, or DIY pizza nights. These meals allow each family member to customize their plate while still eating the same base meal. That way, everyone gets to build their own meal from the foods that have been offered. It helps everyone feel in control of their meal and what goes on their plate. It’s fun too (and easy for you!). 

How to do it:

3. Keep Meal Planning Simple and Realistic

I know meal planning sounds great in theory, but with six kids in the house, I’ve learned that overcomplicating meals just leads to more stress. At the same time, waiting until the last minute to plan dinner isn’t ideal and can cause even more stress. The key is realistic pre-planning.

Not every meal has to be a perfectly balanced, home-cooked masterpiece. Some nights, it’s totally fine to rely on simple meals like grilled cheese and soup, eggs and toast, or even cereal with banana slices and milk. The most important thing is that your family is fed and you’re not completely burnt out trying to make everyone happy. 

One thing that we do is on nights where we have all of the kids and multiple activities/sports we plan a slow-cooker meal that most people in the house will be happy with. That way, we (as 2 working parents) don’t have to worry about a last-minute scramble. 

Some More Tips: 

• Rotate between 3-5 easy family-favourite dinners each week—this keeps things predictable and reduces decision fatigue. On the other nights, plan quick and easy options like breakfast for dinner, soup and grilled cheese etc. 
• Keep a few quick meals (like dinnertime frittata or frozen leftovers) in your back pocket for busy nights.
• Embrace shortcuts—frozen veggies, rotisserie chicken, and pre-cut fruit are all dietitian-approved!

Sometimes, giving yourself permission to simplify can make mealtimes so much more enjoyable.

4. Navigate Picky Eating with Patience

In a blended family, you’re bound to have different food preferences (and maybe even a few strong opinions about what’s “normal” at mealtime). While it’s tempting to make separate meals for everyone, that’s not realistic in the long run. Instead, focus on small changes over time to help kids feel comfortable with new foods.

How to do it:

• Try to always include a “safe food” that each child enjoys alongside new or unfamiliar foods.
• Let kids serve themselves—this gives them some control over what (and how much) they eat. Family-style meals make this easy! 
• Keep offering variety without pressure—just because a child rejects a food today doesn’t mean they won’t try it later. Exposure over time is key!

A positive mealtime environment is more important than a child eating a certain food or amount of food. Forcing or bribing kids to eat a certain food doesn’t work. Instead, make meals low-pressure and keep offering different foods in a positive way. Dive in deeper with my ultimate guide to picky eating.

5. Establish Mealtime Routines (But Stay Flexible!)

Having six kids means schedules can get a little chaotic, and not every night looks the same. While we aim for a routine, we also know that flexibility is key. With blended families, some kids might be at another parent’s house part of the week, and work schedules might differ. The goal is to have structure, but not be rigid.

How to do it:

• Try to keep meals around the same time each day for consistency.
• Let kids know when dinner is coming so they can transition smoothly.
• If someone misses a meal due to schedule conflicts, have leftovers or easy options available.

Routines help, but they should work for your family—not stress you out!

Final Thoughts: Blended Families Can Thrive at Mealtime

Blending a family isn’t easy, and neither is navigating mealtime in a way that works for everyone. The keys are patience, communication, and flexibility. Expect challenges, but also look for the opportunities—mealtime can become a space where your new family builds traditions, shares laughs, and creates a strong sense of connection.

Above all, give yourself grace. Some nights will be smooth, and others will feel chaotic—but that’s normal in any family, blended or not. Keep showing up, keep adjusting, and keep making mealtimes about more than just food. You’re doing better than you think!

FAQs About How to Meal Plan for a Blended Family

What if the kids never agree on dinner?

This is super common, and honestly, it’s something I deal with in my own blended family. No one meal will make everyone 100% happy, and that’s okay! Instead of aiming for perfection, focus on balance. Try a “deconstructed” meal approach, where components are served separately so kids can customize their plates (think tacos, pasta with different sauce options, or a build-your-own grain bowl). Also, keep a rotating meal schedule—each child gets a turn choosing dinner once a week. This helps them feel heard while exposing them to foods they may not have chosen on their own.

What if my partner and I have different feeding philosophies?

This is super common—maybe one parent insists on finishing all veggies, while the other takes a more relaxed approach. The key is to avoid a power struggle that puts kids in the middle. Instead of focusing on who’s “right,” have an open conversation about your feeding philosophies and where they come from. Food isn’t just about nutrition—it’s tied to emotions, control, and our own childhood experiences.

Find common ground by focusing on what’s best for the kids. For example, you might both value family meals and offering a variety of foods, even if your approach to portions or treats differs. If disagreements persist, lean on research—kids are more likely to develop a positive relationship with food when given autonomy rather than being pressured. And if you’re really struggling to get on the same page, my team of dietitians at Centred Nutrition Collective or a family therapist can help. At the end of the day, consistency and predictability matter most for kids, so they aren’t receiving conflicting messages around food.

What if table manners differ between families?

When blending families, it helps to create shared expectations together rather than enforcing one family’s norms. It’s also important to recognize that neurodivergent kids—including those with ADHD or sensory sensitivities—may experience mealtimes differently. Sitting still, using utensils, or tolerating certain textures can be genuinely challenging. Here’s more on ADHD and picky eating.

Instead of rigid rules, focus on making mealtimes positive and inclusive. Talk as a family about why manners matter (respect, making meals pleasant), but also allow for flexibility—maybe a child needs to fidget, eat with their hands, or take movement breaks. Involving kids in setting realistic expectations helps create a routine that works for everyone. Be patient—adjusting to new norms takes time, and a little flexibility can go a long way in making mealtimes enjoyable for all.

What if my kids are the only ones helping with dinner and cleanup?

This can be a real source of frustration. If your kids are used to pitching in but your partner’s kids aren’t, resentment can build quickly. Start by normalizing shared responsibilities—it’s not about punishing one set of kids but about making sure everyone contributes in a way that’s fair. Have a family meeting to assign age-appropriate tasks and explain that helping out is just part of being a family. You can also make it fun—play music while cleaning up, have a “kitchen helper of the week,” or use a chore wheel so tasks rotate evenly. If some kids push back, stay patient but firm—adjusting to new family expectations takes time.

What if one child has food allergies or special dietary needs?

The emotional toll of food allergies is real, but with some planning, it’s manageable. First, make sure everyone understands the allergy or dietary need, including how to prevent cross-contamination. If possible, involve the child in meal planning so they feel included rather than singled out. Keep meals simple by choosing recipes that can be easily modified—for example, a pasta dish where one portion is gluten-free or a meal where dairy can be added separately. If there are multiple dietary needs in the family, meal planning apps or a registered dietitian can help make things feel less stressful.

How do we manage mealtimes when kids switch between households?

This is a big one! Kids who move between homes often have different routines, meal options, and even feeding styles in each household. Instead of trying to “match” what happens at the other house, focus on making mealtimes predictable and positive in your home. Let kids know what to expect and give them some control, like choosing one meal a week or helping with prep. Also, remember that transitions can be tough—some kids may be more emotional after coming back from the other house. Keeping meals low-pressure and flexible can make those transition days smoother.

What if the kids refuse to eat together?

Family meals can be an adjustment, especially if kids come from different backgrounds where mealtimes looked very different. Instead of forcing it right away, ease into it. Start with one or two meals a week where everyone sits together, and keep the atmosphere light and low-pressure—no big rules, just time to eat and connect. Let kids engage at their own pace—some may just sit quietly at first, and that’s okay. Over time, as family dynamics become more comfortable, eating together will feel more natural.

How do we balance different cultural food traditions?

Food is deeply tied to identity, and it’s important to honor both families’ traditions. Instead of letting one culture dominate, celebrate the diversity by incorporating favorite dishes from each background. Have themed nights (e.g., “Dad’s Family Night” where you cook a meal from one side of the family, then “Mom’s Family Night” for the other). Let kids participate in cooking foods from their heritage, which can be a great way to help them feel connected to both sides of their family.

What if one child is always comparing meals to what they get at their other parent’s house?

This is so common and can be frustrating! It’s natural for kids to compare, but instead of feeling like you have to compete, focus on making mealtimes in your home positive and low-stress. If they say, “Mom makes this better,” or “Dad lets us have dessert every night,” acknowledge their feelings without judgment. Say something like, “That’s great that you love what Mom makes! I bet she has some amazing recipes.” The key is to not take it personally—kids are just expressing their experiences, and it doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy meals at your house too.