Babil Khan Says Dad Irrfan’s Death Brought Him ‘Sudden’ Attention: ‘It Was Very Addictive’ | Exclusive
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Babil Khan says he’s ‘scared’ to talk about loneliness on social media for the fear of being trolled and ‘barrage of opinions’.
Irrfan passed away in 2020 after battling neuroendocrine cancer.
Irrfan’s death in 2020 after battling neuroendocrine cancer sent shockwaves across the entertainment industry. Over the years, many actors and makers came forth to express their admiration for the late actor and how they’re still reeling from the shock of his passing. While his family has spoken about the void left behind many at times, in an exclusive chat with News18 Showsha, his elder son Babil Khan talks about the ‘sudden’ attention he began receiving after his father’s death and how it impacted him as he was just beginning his journey in the film industry as an actor.
In his signature candour, Babil tells us, “The first wave of validation came in when everyone started following me [on social media]. After baba passed away, I got a lot of attention and it was very addictive. I saw so many people loving me. I always wanted to be loved right since my childhood. It all happened so suddenly and I didn’t realise that I was getting addicted to it.” And over time, he realised that his self-worth began depending on this attention.
He says, “At that time, I felt that I was gently and kindly moving towards the world [of attention]. But the truth is that I was letting my self-worth depend on the validation and opinion of others. Over time, life started teaching me that.” Eventually, that gave way to loneliness, which is something that Bail often talks about on social media. A while back, he penned a post on Instagram that stated, “I’m lonely, I wanna be alone and still need you to hold me (sic).” It gained a lot of attention but Babil reveals that it also led many to scrutinise and judge him for being so open about his vulnerabilities.
The Qala and The Railway Men actor remarks, “Every time I post, I feel so scared because of the anticipation of what may happen. I do feel the fear of the ‘what ifs’, the constant barrage of people’s opinions and getting trolled. It’s scary but just because it’s scary, it doesn’t mean that I won’t do it. I know that I’ve to take that step into the darkness and the unknown.”
So, now, he has been working towards keeping his social media ‘lighter and more mainstream’. “There’s always that pressure of keeping my social media like that. Now I’ll have to start finding that balance as well because I do feel these platforms have their benefits too. Having said that, today, the struggle is to identity if you’re using social media or if social media is using you. My personal journey has made me understand that there’s a line that I cannot cross. If I open myself up that much, I’ll lose the ability to provide my art and craft. But if I become too scared of being myself, I won’t be able to be real,” he states, as he discusses the duality of social networking platforms.